“Where is she?” Sanyogita had come back with a packet. Disha stopped laughing and gathered
herself. Ravi’s face hardened. Bhanu, still grinning gestured at the room.
“Oh! Is she ok?” Sanyogita asked with concerned. “Oh! Yes...!” Disha said giggling, still very
high. Sanyogita showed the packet. “Gift for her...!” she said airily. Disha tried to take it seeing the Swarovski
label.
“Dhatri is not here...!” Bhanu declared before Disha could
touch it.
“Yeah... not here!” Disha said grinning at Bhanu. Sanyogita sat by Saya’s side leaning on
him. Ravi looked away frustrated.
“Umm....” Salil didn’t know how to open the topic. But Bhanu came to his rescue.
“Yeah.. Uncle..! I mean... tomorrow.. We need to...” He
looked at Disha and she came to her senses.
“Yeah... I need to report to duty..” she said
tentatively. Sayajirao just nodded
reasonably. Ravi felt a knot. The house was full with happiness and
gaiety...! The gala time was over..! Sanyogita’s eyes flashed.
“Umm... Uncle.. I mean.. Papa will...” Disha stuttered. Salil took it from there...!
“I will stay with Disha and Bhanu for a week and then I must
return...” he said easing out the tension. Sayajirao sighed. He wanted them to stay for some more... but
he was reasonable enough. He just nodded
looking down...! Ravi looked towards his room.
“What will Dhaa do?” he didn’t know. “Let her father handle it...” he decided not
to wake her up and tell...!
****** **** ***
“What?” Dhaa asked with a pale face. Salil placed his hand on her shoulder.
“Dhaa... I will be at Disha’s place. You don’t have to worry...! Its a question of
only five hours, Dhaa... I will be here in a jiffy, if you need me!” he pulled
her and patted on her back. She looked
up miserably and then nodded, understandingly.
After all, she must stay in her rightful place...Her husband’s house...
Alone...!! She looked away pressing her lips, swallowing her sob. The catch in her throat trapped her
breath. She moved away. Salil dropped his shoulders. Sanyogita, watching this drama came forward
and placing her hand on Dhatri’s head said...
“We will take care of her, don’t worry..!” Dhatri stepped
away. Sayajirao glanced awkwardly.
“Eii.... Don’t worry... Baahoo will be happy here!” Mrs.
Russel came in with the packets and Sayajirao felt relief. Handing over the packets to Disha, he said...
“A small gift from Ravi!” Sanyogita’s eyes spit fire!.
“Gifts? To these beggars?” she frowned.
“What did they give in return?” she was burning with
jealousy.
“Yeah…! Keep them securely, Disha, they are costly gifts..!”
she said as if she had bought them. Salil looked up at the pile of gifts and
said…!
“It will be difficult to carry all these things. We have our luggage packed. He looked helplessly at Disha. She withdrew her hand and straightened
herself up.
“Yes…! Some other time, Uncle! Sorry!” she said
apologetically faking a smile hiding her disappointment. Opening the gifts was tempting. She wanted to know what her sister’s in laws
had gifted.
“No problem! I will arrange to send them across to you
Bhanu!” he said brightly, hiding his disappointment that the gifts were turned
down.
*********
*********** *********
A week into her married life and Salil had gone back, Dhatri
had nothing to do literally except flipping through the pages of books from the
huge library, finding nothing interesting… and playing some stupid video games
of violence and maze cracking. She tried
gardening, messing it up more. Ravi had
a herculean task ahead of his case. He
was on probation pending his case.Everyday, he came home late in the night to
find her fast asleep, pushing him away, when he tried to wake her up..!
Sanyogita avoided her like plague.
“Humm…” Dhatri sat on the sofa gazing the carpet design,
counting the dots on the design.
“Eii… Baahoo…” She looked up to Mrs. Russel with hope.
“Enii… Can you please help me in the kitchen?” she asked
awkwardly. Dhatri got up excitedly.
“Yeah.. Tell me!” she said entering into the kitchen. That was the only respite for her. She could help..!
****** ***** *****
Five days into this gruesome, macabre exit interview, Rini
went through the hell again and again.
There seemed no end to this exit interview. “this is taking more time than my
recruitment...” She thought with an urge to run away....!
“This is not me! I am somebody else..! Rini can’t be running
away...!” she slapped herself but the thought of she being somebody else was so
strong, it just swept away everything else in her mind. Irrationality took over..! She was not Rini,
She was someone else...! They did something to her in her captivity and she had
lost her identity. She was mehrunnisa...
not Rini Dixit!
“I just want to quit!” she had had enough! The lady at the
other end of the table sighed looking into Rini’s file.
Rini had arrived at the command office five days back and
was directed to the Military accounts department. Her accounts were ready with up to date
data. She signed the papers and her file
was forwarded to the next level. She
waited for the next appointment. Lt. Gn.
Singh wished to see her before she left finally. She accepted his invitation.
She was made to recount all the incidents with every detail
once again. Often she said pointing at
the reports in their hands, saying... “I have given everything in writing,
Sir!” politely. But all the nine members
insisted that she told them everything again and again. Her frustration and tolerance levels reached
a new high every time she was asked to give an account of her mission with
every minute detail. Two days into this
grilling and finally the commander said...!
“Ms. Dixit, do you know, you are due for promotion and your
resignation would set aside every benefit you accurde..?” She gaped pitying her
officer.
“Yes, Sir!” she said nervously. “This means you are not eligible even for
your pension...!” he said the same thing she had heard again and again that she
would lose all her benefits as Ex serviceman.
She was not at all interested in any kind of benefits...!
“And you were strongly recommended for Sena Medal...!
But...” he looked up at her pale face.
She had earned it, damn it! The catch in her heart rendered her
breathless. She chocked.
“You would have been the first Lt. to achieve this...!”
Commander went ahead. She looked
down.
“Do you want to reconsider?” he asked finally and she shook
her head forgetting the protocol. She
should have voiced it.
“Dismiss...!” The other panel members got up to go. She saluted and went out turning her back on
everyone with heavy heart.
“I know, anyway, I will be relieved from my duties as I have already resigned... Why this farce of exit interview? What are they trying to
achieve?” She was hurt with the treatment she was given. No one had talked to her
sympathetically.
“Humm.. This is what happens when you put down your
papers...!” she blurted bitterly.
Everyone was so insensitive, indifferent...! She felt being alienated...
isolated from her second self...! Sence of losing her pride, stabbed her...!
“Why can’t they understand what I feel leaving this job? Its
not easy for me...” she gasped...! Her next round was with some Col. Gomez..!
She had not heard of him before. She
shrugged...It won’t make any difference to her! It wasn’t of any value for her,
now! For her, it was over! She only waited for her relieving letter and handing
over her badge of a serviceman (woman in her case). But this exit interview seemed to be a never
ending process...!
She had met none of her team mates from the mission. “Where were they?” She didn’t know!
******** ********
She sat upright in the leather chair infront of a person who
introduced himself as Col. Gomez.
“Can you recount, your mission…?” he asked the same question
and she lost the grip.
“This is the seventh time I am reporting … Sir!” she said
bitterly.
“I know! But I want you to walk me through once again..!”
she shrugged frustratedly and started narrating her assignment from the minute
she was handed over the letter and her file….! He heard her patiently without
interrupting her. She gave the same
recount seventh time….! This time she was more composed while describing the
incidents and what she went through, how the women were brainwashed in the
named of jehad, how they were raped, those who had cold feet were brutally
killed before the other women, how the bodies were mutilated, how some of them
were stripped naked for days together as punishment, how the young girls were
desecrated…! Everything, every detail she said with literally no emotions… she
was hardened…! Death meant nothing for her now…! She had seen and experienced
hell… beyond death…!
“This is it!” She concluded clasping her palms in each
other. Col. Gomez stared at her intently
and then slid a file before her. She
looked up questioningly…!
“Your team in the mission…!” he said. She didn’t touch the file as he had pulled it
back.
“What does he mean, my team?” she was confused. She waited.
“How do you feel now, after telling me about your mission?”
he asked, in a strange kind voice, which didn’t suit his appearance. She had expected some reprimand looking at
his huge appearance. She was
apprehensive, actually, when she had entered his chamber.
“I was recounting it the seventh time, sir!” she said with
resentment. He nodded actually
smiling.
“How do you feel, after telling me the seventh time?” he
stressed upon ‘seventh time’
“Nothing…!” she said plainly. He smiled.
“And when you narrated it for the first time?” she winced
with the memory. She had broken down in
tremors experiencing the ordeal again…!
“It was like reliving the hell!” she said looking up.
“Did you give your report in writing?” he asked and she
nodded suddenly feeling him to be informal.
"It was difficult to describe ...!" She went on telling her experience while giving the report in writing. It was beyond hell as she had to give vivid description with crude sketches of the terrain, and locations...!
"And when you recounted it the fifth time?” he asked.
“Is he kidding me?” she looked up angrily but he was
serious.
“Tell me, every time when you recounted, what was your
feeling…!” he said leaning forward, keeping his hands on the table. She sank back into the plush leather chair,
not knowing where this interview was heading.
Then as she started thinking about the narration every time, she felt
strangely calm. Every time she had
narrated… she was becoming harder..! And, the seventh time she was narrating as
if she was telling a story of someone else, as if narrating a horror movie and
not her experience.
“How many times, did you change your identity?” he asked
and she counted…!
Indian Armed forces personnel for the rescue operation,
American-asian tourist, and mehrunnissa from Lahore, turned terrorist…!
“Every time you were given your official papers, right?” he
asked in a tone of interrogation..!
“Yes, Sir!” she said sitting upright with apprehension.
“Your statement will go into your service book…!” he warned
her. She merely nodded.
“We though women have a keen attention to details…! You
failed the test, Lt. Dixit!” he accused.
“No Sir!” she said firmly.
I did not miss out on any details Sir!” she said forcefully..!
****** *****
