180

“Dhatri? “ He opened his eyes. She was not in the bed.  He hopped out in panic.  The bathroom door opened and he breathed.  

“I am ready..!” she said throwing the towel on the chair.  He looked at her fresh face.  He was to see his lawyer in the morning and then to go to the Court for continuation of his testimony.  She was all dressed up in jeans and white shirt and a black shrug...!

“What..?” she asked waving on his lost face.

“Haan?” he jerked out of his trance. 

“Go! Get ready..!” she pulled his hand..!

.... ...

They were waiting for his lawyer outside his office on the fifth floor of the building. 

 “Dhatri...Come with me,  It will take a lot of time.....!” She looked up

“No! You go! I will wait here...!” He hesitated to leave her alone.  Taking out a book he glanced at her, dislike appearing in her eyes, she said, 

“I will wait..!” 

“What will you do Dhatri?” he asked and was surprised with her reply.

“I will count the hair on my head..!“ She snapped angrily, turning and sitting on the chair outside the office in the waiting area, without a word.  He sighed sitting by her sighed stifling his grin.

She nudged him pointing at the receptionist calling his name.  He picked up his bag and hurriedly went inside.  Dhatri was all by herself in the waiting area..!

******  ********

“Not a good sign...” Gomez blurted watching the high voltage drama outside.  Vicky, tried to run forward but Gomez held him back. 

“Don’t!” he ordered.  His assistant walked in with a file.  He shook his head flipping through the pages.  Vicky was at the door. 

Not at all a good sign, Maj. Vikram...!” Col. Gomez said gravely holding out the file.  Vikram scanned the pages.

“PTSD coupled with psychotic depression...Low self esteem...~” He blurted out mournfully...!

“Suicidal tendencies...!” the possibilities gave him a blow...!

“She needs help...”

“infirmary?” Vicky couldn’t comprehend. 

..  ....

Outside:

 Vinit stood still with his hands up.

“Go away... else...I will pull the trigger!” she yelled with red face.

“Ok!  I will... Please, Rini... don’t do this..! I will go...!” he pleaded helplessly.  She staggered back.  He tried to step ahead.

“No!” she yelled, still holding the gun tightly to her temple.  There was nothing left for her... She had lost her pride, her glory, everything in her life.  Dejected resentment and sadness took over...! Her finger twitched on the trigger...! 

“No! Rini...! Ok. Ok. I am going...Please...!” he walked backwards away from her a bit.  She was sweating profusely, sweat running down her forehead, her face...! 

“Please... Rini give my gun back...!” he said kneeling down on the lawn.  She stood there like a lifeless statue.  

“Rini... Please.... stop this... Let me take my gun... Please...!” he still was on the ground, she still pointing the gun at her head.  

“You are a strong person, Lt. Dharini...” he said hoarsely and she shook her head...

“No... N..o...” her voice faltered as she closed her eyes tightening her grip on the gut...!

“Rini... Look! I am sorry... I will just go away... Give back my gun please...” Vinit pleaded again unusually submissive.  

“I want to end this.... End my life...!” she blurted... The memories of her trauma flashing, mixing up in one another, the dead bodies floating... the fire rising up in the sky, suffocating her, the rapes she was made to watch without blinking... the naked she was asked to remain in her cell for days together, with other prisoners watching her hungrily... ! If eyes could rape, she was raped several times for several days...! The women in the group were abused and killed brutally... There was blood everywhere... She was floating in that stream of blood... Her lifeless body stopped struggling... she was asked to kill her own cell mate... she was running ... the mirage was still ahead... she was thirsty... she was dieing... her soul was whipped... snatched away from her heart....!

“No...!” the gun dropped and Vinit leapt up holding her, carrying her inside...unconscious...! Gomez came up and guided him to the infirmary inside...! Medication injected... she went into deep, calm, dreamless slumber...! Vinit came out wiping the sweat.  Vicky watched her steady breath and peaceful posture....! Vinit was in the office of Col. Gomez, the Psychiatrist!

“This was her first time...!” Gomez said sliding few more files...!

“Her team members in the mission...!” Vinit flipped through the files...! 

“Six of them have resigned, we are reconsidering, three applied for paid long vacation, two developed lung infection and other health problems, rendering themselves unfit for duty...!

“All these were experienced, undercover soldiers..and had gone through warlike situation...! Were helped to overcome their PTSD...!” He said and then looking into his papers said,

“There is a peculiar pattern.  They all gave the same scripted reports... repeated that same stories... made themselves miserable narrating the events... Not a single word was different...” Gomez went ahead.

“We had taken all possible care... the papers were to be deliberately slipped out... the prescription of medication was to be kept on body....! She did exactly what was told to her, not knowing the implications... ! She didn’t even looked into the papers given to her.  Strange..! She didn’t bother to know what she was into.”

“What she reported was only a part of her trauma... The official version of her mission...!” Gomez said and vinit looked up aghast.

The trauma would kill her...if not treated...!” Gomez said and Vicky nodded his head gravely. 

“This happens with first timers...” They just break down...! The statistics says, 46% retire ahead of time, 35% resign and very few continue...! 

“She is a strong girl...!” Vinit blurted in denial of her plight and misery.

“She is a first timer in many senses... “ Gomez enlightened the situation...!

“She is the first one to join armed forced with no Services background at all... She was the first junior office to be a part of such a fierce and deathly mission... Probably she had not seen deaths before... ! 

“Imagining bravery, glory, war, adventurous missions, patriotism, service to nation etc etc... is different Than facing the reality in warlike situation...!” Vicky thought gravely. Vinit’s stone face showed no expression.  Vicky got emotional...! “She should leave... after the short service commission..!” he thought.  

“Every trauma leaves a scar behind...! She needs attention” Gomez said scribbling something.  

Vicky glanced at Vinit.  His face showed no emotion.  He had placed back his gun in holster..!

“Ok Gentleman...!” He dismissed the young officers...! 

Rini in her deep slumber was at peace transferring all the worry and anxiety to Vinit and Vicky...!