115

“What is this Dhaa?” Ragini waved the docket before her eyes and poorva held the packet.  Dhatri’s eyes flashed, defiance apparent, she stood up with a jerk.  Pulled the docket and the packet from Ragini and Poorva….

“Don’t you dare, touch my personal things…! You understand?” she yelled at the top of her voice and the next moment she was running back to her room…. With flushed, furious face, paning and sweating profusely. The nightmarish trauma flashed before her eyes.  The things she had tried to forget came back like a ghost engulfing her into the ordeal again.  She broke down…. The trauma took over again and again pushing her again in pain and anguish.

 All her friends, Poorva, Ragini and Suresh were so stunned, they just couldn’t digest the reaction from Dhatri.  This was shocking …! Dhaa had never behaved like this.  There was nothing personal or private between the friends….! They had shared their feelings…. Their anxiety, their fears…. And helped each other come out of it….!

“Dhaa… How could she?” wailed Ragini sitting on the bench, sobbing.  She felt insulted.  All of them fell silent thinking hard on Dhaa’s reaction. 

“She is not our Dhaa…!” Ragini concluded.  “I know her since childhood…. We grew up together…. !” she stopped talking, pondering over.   “I tell you, she is not Dhatri… She is somebody else…! An impostor” Ragini said gravely and Poorva looked up in realization. 

“She is changed… Since her US trip… I mean… there is something different in her…!” Poorva said. 

“May be she is stressed out… overwhelmed… catching up with backlog… and extra study…. And our pathetic teachers….!” Suresh said reasonably. 

“Humm….” Ragini said nodding…! “There is something else to it…. Did you see that file?” Poorva, the level headed person in the group asked looking at others, who merely gaped at her. 

“The medical reports and all? I didn’t understand much…! But I think she was seriously ill in the US..” She deduced and Suresh nodded.  Ragini was furiously trying the number.

“Stop it Ragini…. Dharini Didi is not reachable… I tried!” Poorva snapped and Ragini pocketed the cell phone. 

“I just wanted to pull her legs on that unopened gift… and she?” Ragini said chocking.  “Did you all see, the way she reacted?” Ragini looked at everyone for sympathy.  Purva was deep in thoughts.  She was all set to find out.  Dhatri had run back to her room with the medical file and the gift packet. 

“We called it treatchery…. May be simply she was hiding something from us…. Some bad memories?” Suresh said in repentance.  Poorva nodded.  “We got to find out…. What happened after the conference…. “ she said. 

“Yeah… she refused to talk anything about it… She seems to hate this trip to US…” Suresh added. 

“Yeah… that docket had some Haight-Ashbury address….~” Suresh remembered.  Poorva had made up her mind….!

“Let us call Mr. Ray.  He was there with her for the conference… Right?” she asked and Suresh pulled the laptop. 

Ray was surprised to see the popup message and immediately responded to the skype call.  Poorva did the talking…..!

“What? What happened? Is she alright? Where is she?” Ray couldn’t stop himself when the team enquired about Dhatri’s stay in US.

“Yes… she is alright…. But those medical tests!  We are little worried, you see…!” poorva said vaguely.  Ray gaped.  “Does that mean these people do not know anything about her stay in US?” he too decided to play safe.  He didn’t want to put Dhaa in trouble again. 

“Oh! She was ill here… so was hospitalized…! And the doctors advised her to repeat the tests in India ….!” He said sounding casual.  Poorva took a sigh of relief. 

“Thank God!” she blurted.

“Why? What happened?” he asked curiously.  “And where is she?”

“Nothing…. We found out the medical file in her bag and she blew her top in rage….! We were worried… you see..” Ragini poured her heart out.  Ravi fell silent thinking and worrying about Dhatri.  He didn’t want to let out anything, but at the same time, wanted Dhatri’s wellbeing….!

“Look…. She was very scared to be hospitalized…. For some minor infections…. But this could be PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).  She was given medication for this.  But please take care of her…!” he urged.  Poorva nodded determined to know more about PTSD….! She was not convinced…. How can it be a trauma, getting hospitalized? She didn’t know.  

“Wait here….!” She dashed to the library …..

They came back to the room to be horrified to see Dhatri ready with her bags packed.

“What? Where are you going?” Ragini asked aghast.

“Going home…!” was the curt answer.  “Why?” she asked.  There was no answer. 

“Dhaa….!” Purva came forward.  Dhatri retorted…. “No! Not a word…. I am leaving… to hell with your friendship…. To hell with you all…. ! To hell with the studies…. Its all worthless…. Everybody is worthless…. I am the useless person on this earth….” She turned her back on them.  Ragini gaped and turned to Poorva for help.  Purva held Dhatri’s hand.

“Dhaa…. We are sorry…! We shouldn’t have touched your things….!” She said with a deep regret in her voice.  Ragini gaped…. Poorva, who never took Dhatri seriously, and always put an end to her dramebazi, was putting up a big drama of remorse…..! 

Dhatri looked at her.  For a fleeting second, Poorva felt the same happy Dhatri turning in…. but the next moment she jerked Purva’s hand “I don’t want to talk to anyone….! Just go away….!” Ragini gaped at Dhatri’s furious face. 

“Ok.” She said sadly and stepped away.  Dhatri came to the bed and sat with a thud clutching her head.  

“I just want to put an end to all this…..!” she blurted pulling the sheet over her head.  Purva and Ragini stared at each other for a while and then tiptoed out closing the door behind.  

“We got to watch her carefully…..!” Purva said raising her finger.  Ragini nodded.  They took turns to stay awake to keep a watchful eye on Dhatri. 

**********  ****

Dhatri blinked open her eyes and saw a flask with Sooji toasts in a plate… her favourite… Tea and Sooji Toasts…! She stretched and pulled the plate nearer and suddenly remembering the last night’s row, pushed away the plate.  She saw her packet bag, looked around to find none and got up with a sigh.

“Time to go….!” She murmured and headed towards the bathroom with a towel on her shoulder.  When she came back, Poorva and Ragini were ready to go for the class.  She avoided looking at them.  Her phone buzzed.  Not wanting to answer the call she looked at the flashing name.

“Why?” she answered reluctantly.  “Ooii… Baba… Dhaa…. Congratulations…!” bellowed an exhuberent voice of Indroneel and Dhatri frowned. 

“Now what?” she asked irritably.  Ragini and Poorva turned to face her. 

“Dhaa….. Our Rini…. Ooii Baba… What a girl! Brave… Like Rana Chandi…! I am so proud….!” He said brightly shouting in the phone.

“Come to the point, Uncle!” She yelled over his voice. 

“Oh! Yes, Yes…. Our Rini…. Is.. going to receive Sena Medal This January 26^th…! Baba…. I am so Happy…. Gallentray Award… Dhaa…. Our Rini…!” With every word he uttered, Dhaa’s face lit up with happiness….! Poorva stared at her and held out her hand to take the phone….!

“Poorva…. Rini Didi…. Got Sena Medal….!” Dhatri forgot everything so did Poorva and Ragini.

“What? Congratulations to us…. Our Didi…. First Girl Army Officer from Vidisha… Sena Medal….!” Ragini hugged Dhatri and Poorva embraced both tightly. There was time to celebrate….! “Saaray Gile Shiquve Bhool Kar…..!” The friends were together…..! 

114

“Oyee... Dhaa... uth... Come on wake up...!” Ragini was waking her up shaking her vigorously.  Dhatri was in deep slumber.  She suddenly felt someone was throwing her down from the crag and she was falling into the black hole with no bottom....!

“Haww... Huff... Haaa....!” she got up with a start looking wildly at everyone not recognising where she was.  Slowly, Ragini’s furious face came into focus.

“You...! What is it?” she yelled rubbing her eyes irritably. 

“Uth... Chal... upload kar...!” Ragini almost kicked her pulling her out of the bed. 

“Why? You people don’t have hands?” Dhatri retorted back yelling at the top of her voice. 

“Uth... Dhatri... who tera kaam hain.... Thats your work and ‘Jenu kaam tenu thai, bija kareso gota khai.....!’  So get up you lazy cow...” Purva pulled her up.  Dhatri was still sleepy. 

“What? You called me cow? You... you... Pig... you hog... “ Dhatri started off with her chosen vocabulary....!

“Stop it Dhatri... We got to upload the code....” Poorva mediated.  “Upload? But I have already uploaded...” Dhatri didn’t understand. 

“Duffer... The new one... The first version of the software we developed...” Poorva said pitying Dhatri for her dumbness...!

“But.... the deadline is..!” she didn’t complete the sentence, realizing her mistake...

“Shit... Shit...I forgot...! The deadline is preponed...! Shit....!” Dhatri pulled her hair in frustration.

“Thats why I call you cow... you shit everywhere your cow-dung....! Dhatri wake up and uploade...” Ragini slapped her to bring her back to the real world from her sleep state. 

“Huff.... This project... You know? I tell you, this is worthless... You people are not going to use any of this in your life... You know... This education itself is worthless....” Dhatri went on furiously. 

“Yeah... We will keep your sermon at the auditorium.... now upload the code, Dhaa.... He had asked us to do it before 8.00 pm his time...!” Ragini grew impatient. 

“Yeah... his time! His project! His code!  Our time is not important...! These Americans.... They want everything as of yesterday....! Rubbish....!” Dhatri muttered furiously opening her laptop and connecting to the Google drive. 

“HG? What kind of name is this?” Poorva asked bewildered.  Dhatri ignored her.  “Give a sensible name to the folder, Dhatri... What is this HG?” Dhatri had no answer.  She had vented out her anger by giving this wierd folder name.  “Weird? Naa... That was not weird for her... but for others...!”

“change the name Dhaa... “ Poorva poked her.  “Shut up.... These are the middle letters on the keyboard...” Dhatri gave some equally weird logic. 

“Oh! Whatever...!” Poorva shrugged.  She wanted to get it done ASAP. 

“See? Done!” Dhatri declared triumphantly.  Poorva breathed a sigh. 

“Hope he approves the code this time..” Poorva said worriedly.

“Send him the link, Dhaa...!” Ragini suggested and Dhatri retaliated.

“That’s not my job, Ok! Suresh is the contact person...”

“Oh, Come on! He is not here...! Send him a mail...” Ragini pulled Dhatri’s laptop. Dhatri resisted.  But poorva used her laptop and sent the link.  Within moments they got the reply where he had changed the folder name as “JL”

“JL? What is JL?” Poorva was puzzled so were all the others.  “JL?” Dhatri racked her brain to find out some relevance but could not...!

“What nonsense? What kind of name is this? He could have kept the same folder...!” Dhatri frowned angrily.  “Hungry Gudda...!” She muttered under her breath.  “JL?” she still couldn’t decode....! “Let it be... Must be initials of his girlfriend...” she said and suddenly felt embarrassed.  This was the first time she had this kind of thought of GirlFriend or BoyFriend...

“This is all because of these Love-struck Pyaar main Pagal Yaar... All around me...!” she gritted angrily.  

“Finished? Over? Now let me sleep... I did nightout yesterday..” Dhatri pulled the sheet over her head....!

*********  ********

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Dhatri held Ragini’s hand only to get it jerked away.  Ragini moved her face and moved away from Dhatri. 

“Poorva?” Dhatri turned to Poorva.  Poorva was a very straight forward person with no nonsense attitude.  “What happened?” Dhatri asked her but Poorva was too busy to answer her question.  Dhatri turned to Suresh.  “No No No no... don’t ask me...! I don’t talk to treatcherous persons...!” he said moving away.  All the three even had resused to sit on her bench in the class. Dhatri was hurt thoroughly. 

“Fine...! If you don’t care... I Don’t care either...!” she said loudly sitting at the far end table in the canteen, alone...! No one bothered to talk to her. Her friends didn’t bother to wait for her for dinner.  All just ignored her.

Dhatri had attended the next skype call with Ray Dave and had all her attention at his wrists.  The bandage was replaced by adhesive tape and he looked fine.  Ragini shamelessly asked what was that JL folder name for.  He just chuckled curling up his lip, sidelining the question and turned to more serious topic of coding standards, pointing out several mistakes from the code and naming conventions...! Dhatri, at the back kept looking at him through her lashes and somehow the hot blushes made her breath steamy... She felt uneasy as the call progressed. 

“I am not going to attend such calls again...!” she resolved frowning.  He was busy talking to Ragini about the would be groom and what did he do in US and where was he from... and on... and on... to Dhatri’s annoyance as he congratulated Ragini smiling at her sweetly and welcoming her to US of A; completely ignoring Dhatri, her fuse blew.  She got up and without even looking at anyone walked away stomping.

The torturous ‘A-Sahakar’ non cooperation movement began from next day.  Dhatri didn’t know why her gang was so furious.  She had walked out of the skype call several times before, and no one had bothered about it.  Not even Ray Dave...! But this was something extraordinary.  Dhatri grew restless.  The call to her Rini Didi could not be through, as she was on Border again.  Dhatri had no one...! Tears brimmed... her lower lip pouted... she was on the verge of crying... This time, the genuine one.. not her all time favourite Drama!

“If you people are not telling me what happened, I am going to change my room!” Finaly Dhatri declared with quivering voice and Ragini gave in.  But Poorva held her hand and asked Dhatri sternly... “We should be asking you this, Dhaa... What is this? Why did you betray us? This is an insult to our friendship...!” Dhatri gaped foolishly. 

“What? What betrayal? What did I do?” she asked aghast.  Poorva looked at Ragini and Suresh.  “Ragini, show her what did she do...!” ordered Poorva and Suresh nodded.  Ragini pulled out something from her bag.... 

.....And..... Dhatri gaped with pale face, horror struck like a thunder bolt had struck the entire area....! She gaped with her jaw dropping.... lost her voice.... her brain was shutting down...!

“What? Ho...how? Ho... how did you get it?” she asked after a while and poorva came on to her...

“This is treatchery...! You are not our friend, Dhaa...!” she accused and Dhaa sat on the bench in the study room with a thud....! 

****  **** *****************************************************************

Credit : Pyaar main pagal Yaar.... is not my line.  This brilliant line was from 'Nisha' and I liked it so much that I used it....! hehehehe!

113

“ITANAA SHINING MARANEY KI JARURAT NAHI HAIN..!” Dhatri snapped getting up with a jerk.  Purva and Ragini grinned giving hi-five to each other.  Dhatri clutched her notebook and picked up her laptop.

“I am going to the library... you carry on with your gossip...!” she snarled and went out.  “Humm....!” Ragini sat on Dhatri’s bed dreamily.  Her aunty had brought a proposal of NRI groom and Ragini was on cloud nine.... shining, shimerring, grinning brightly all the time.  That boy had talked to her and she had fallen for him flat.  Poorva’s BF had got a job with fabulous package of 10.2 Lacs per annum and her family had accepted him as the son in law.  Suresh had a new find; a junior girl in first semester and had no time even for his project...! Dhatri was bugged up with their lovey dovey talks and had buried herself in covering up the backlog of studies.  She had missed several lectures, and nine practicals... Luckily, this last semester, they had only three theory subjects, two practicals and the rest was to be devoted to project work.  The Director of the institute was kind enough to allow her to keep terms... Her award and the conference was a talk of the institute for several days.  She had not told anyone what had happened after the conference and no one had bothered to ask her, assuming that she had spent the rest of the days with her sister in US of A. 

The students wished to arrange a facilitation program for her and listen to her experiences to which Dhatri had outrightly said “NO!” But had shared some of the photographs of the conference and they were displayed on the notice board...! That was it...! The matter ended there.  The chapter of her US trip closed ...! She didn’t bother to tell anyone anything....

.........  ..........

“You won’t understand Dhaa... The blues of love...!” Ragini said dreamily and Dhatri flared up...!

“Yeah... I don’t understand the blues, reds, browns, yellows of love.... “ she barked contemptuously. 

“You know? You all are going to land in big trouble... Concentrate on your studies, guys... That is going to take you to your blues... not your blue dreams...!” she yelled irritably.  Suresh grinned ear to ear. 

“Stop getting blue and green in rage, Dhatri... You don’t know what it is like to have a beautiful GF... “ Suresh said closing his eyes dreamily... “And a handsome BF...” Ragini added clutching her bag to her chest... as if hugging her BF.  

 Poorva merely nodded... She was a veteran in this... she had already passed this phase of love blues....! She was more practical now, thinking (Not Dreaming) about her future with her BF... her would be groom...! She was into planning stage of life with her life partner...! Dhatri was not even on the first rung of the ladder.  She shook her head hopelessly...! “Bullshit...!” she mouthed and all the other three pounced on her...! She ducked and ran away from that place leaving her friends in their own dreamland...!

“What’s so special in that?” she didn’t understand.  “Who cares...?!!!” she shrugged and walked into the library.  She had more important things than disillusioning her friends...!

As the days passed, she became more frustrated with the constant talks of her friends about their BFs and GF...!

“SHINING MATT MARO...!” She snarled.  “I too have one...!” she said and others stopped dead! Dhatri turned her back.

“Wait a minute... You have one! What?” Asked Poorva.  Dhatri was caught on wrong foot. 

“What? you have one? You mean we have many?” Ragini turned the direction of the discussion.  Dhatri breathed relief.  “Wait a minute...” Poorva’s sharp mind was not to let the topic go off the track. 

“You have one...! What do you have Dhatri?” she asked thumping her hands on her hips. 

“I am going...! I have ONE backlog practical to go!” Dhatri somehow brought herself to face the firing from Poorva.  Poorva narrowed her eyes suspiciously but let Dhatri go for the time being.  Dhatri turned back.  “Poorva... Please.. you all manage, ok? I won’t be there...!” she requested.  Poorva nodded... Dhatri dashed out of her room.  She had to complete her Lab Experiment....! The creepy compilers were bugging her...!

****  *****  ****

They gathered in the Lab waiting for the call.  His figure flashed.  After the initial pleasantries Ray Dave kicked off the first meeting for the project.  The discussion went on for a long time with the week’s schedule and the source code to be uploaded.  Ray Dave had dispatched the model conveyer system and the licence for the software and an Industrial camera.   It was expected to reach them in a week.  The entire project was chalked out.  Ray Dave was satisfied with the progress the team had made.

“Where is the other member...?” he asked casually running his finger in his hair.  “What happened?” Ragini asked looking at his bandaged left wrist.  He immediately took his hand down blurting... “Oh! Nothing...! Just a minor injury...!” he dismissed further discussion on his injured wrist.  He didn’t get the answer for his question.  He logged off after fixing the schedule for next skype call. 

****  ****  ****

“You know? He looked so handsome...!! His blue eyes.... His fair skin...! Haiii... “ Ragini went on.  Suresh shook his head hopelessly.  Dhatri frowned. 

“Ragini... don’t blurt out such things in front of your BF, ok?!!!” Poorva snapped.  Ragini took out her BF’s photo.  “See! He is just my dream prince charming...!” she said dreamily. 

“Don’t you guys have anything else?” Dhatri snapped closing shut her book.  “I am dying to cover up my studies and you guys have all the time in this dream, charm, farm discussion....!” she frowned. 

“You won’t understand, Dhaa...! The feeling is soo  heavenly...!” Ragini had touched heaven by now.  “Shut up..!” Dhaa shut her eyes closed, frustrated. 

“I am going...!” she said moving towards her room.  She already was feeling out of place in the group of love struck friends. 

“Yes, Dhatri, even if you refuse to see the doctor, I will marry you...!” his gentle voice echoed in her ears and “Oouch...!” she had banged her head on the closed door, she had forgotten to open to get inside!  

“Hungry Gudda! As it is, I am all riot in my head... and this... this Gudda...!” she stopped at the thought of gudda.  A faint smile appeared on her face.  Her eyes mellowed down and she took out her bag.  She held the packet he had given her and smiled.... “I am not going to open it...! And I am not going to talk to you...!” she said puffing her cheeks and stuffed the gift back into the bag. 

*****  *****  ***** 

“Disha, take care beta...!” her father Salil said with a heavy voice concluding his call.

“Take care, Papa...” she too was overwhelmed, missing her family, her parents...!

“Umm... Disha... Umm... This Ravi.... I mean Indroneel was talking about him...!” he didn’t know how to ask about Ravi. 

“Papa... you know Ghosh uncle, his exuberance and haste... Just forget what he said.. Papa.... Forget about everything.  Now We have to take care of Dhatri and she should complete her degree... Get a decent job, first...! Let us not talk about it, Papa...!” Disha was convincing passionately, not to think anything about Dhatri and Ravi.  Salil nodded brushing away all the thoughts of Dhaa and Ravi.  Indeed Disha was right, he thought.... Dhaa should complete her graduation first...!

*****  *****  ****

“Ooii Baba, Dhaa... how are you?” Indroneel shouted and Dhaa took away her cell phone from her ear.

“What happened uncle? Did you get the schedule of the trek?” she asked enthusiastically.  Indroneel snorted from the other end to her annoyance. 

“No... Dhaa... Look at my age... I am 56, will retire in four years.... I can’t do that thin air trek now... My lung power is all gone....! Dhaa...!” he said grinning, tricking her...! She flared up...!

“Uncle, you promised me...!” she yelled throwing tantrums...! He grunted .... like a pig with low snort...!

“Ooii Baba... Dhaa... you want me to die in that snow?” he asked with mock seriousness... Dhatri kept quiet for a while and then retorted yelling over the phone. 

“Nothing can happen to you when I am there...!” He again grinned...!

“don’t pull my legs.. tell me the schedule...” she threatened.

“Schedule...? I will have to ask Ravi... He is planning an expedition...!” Indroneel dropped the bombshell...!

“I am not coming...!” Dhatri disconnected angrily.  Her phone buzzed again.

“I told you, I am not coming...!” she yelled irritably. 

“Ooii Baba... Dhaa, I forgot to give you the news...!” he created enough suspense.  She waited with bated breath.  All her loved ones floated before her eyes in that fraction of second....

“Rovi... injured his hand.... Poor fellow... slit his wrist while repairing something..” he said and waited for her reaction.  She forgot to react.  “Is he ok?” she asked in a small voice.  “Yes... Yes... Dhaa... he is alright.... was asking about you...!” Indroneel told her smiling inwardly.  She disconnected, feeling her frustration mounting... Already her studies were impounding her brain and now this disturbing thought will disturb her sleep too!

“Damn this... Why didn’t I attend the call?” she banged her head not knowing what to do!!

“Why can’t he call me and tell about his injury? His big ego..! Let it be... I will not talk to him...!” she had inadvertently taken out the unopened gift packet again.